And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
