nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
did you just send me my own nude
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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