In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
