I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I can text with my tongue
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
