I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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