The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize