***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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