That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
