I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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