This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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