Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
