Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
