glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
