Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
