that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
