It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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