Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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