IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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