Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize