I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
