I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
