Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
