We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I understand Curling. That high.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
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