well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
