Umm I'm too high to move.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
