do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
