Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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