well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Holy shit dude........stairs
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