what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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