My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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