You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
