I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
