i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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