the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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