sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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