how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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