Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
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