having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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