Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
