she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize