"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
