just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize