Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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