is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Let's paint friendship bongs
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
