Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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