I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
