i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
