You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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