I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
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Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
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From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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