Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I believe in your delicious
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
