fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
you told grandpa to call you daddy
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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