I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I checked into jail on foursquare
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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