Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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