so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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