So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
