i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
