I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
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