What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
