Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
