i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
