The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
