love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
