the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
wat bout pragnant strippers??
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Randomize
