ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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