Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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