A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
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