I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
