My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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