I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
