The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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