Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
