yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
