sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
