she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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